My first thought

I'm giving birth to a new thought tonight, it's 1:26am Australia - Brisbane time. I'm just going to write everything from the top of the head, no spell checking, no grammer checking, nothing but think - type and regret later.

Hi to all who read this, I'll be thinking about this before I go to bed, so much thoughts whilst in bed...

Sometimes I cannot stay asleep, I am bright awake but I'm tired enough to doze off, just doesn't happen. I don't go to bed early, it's become a ritual, stay up late, do stuff on the computer, have the radio on, go to bed, lie in bed, lie in bed some more, think about things, think about what I'de like to dream about, then fall asleep.

My life is pretty organised, I try to keep things neat, mess disgusts me, can't stand it, I think I am a perfectionist, everything has to look perfect, I'm into creative things; art...

I just love being mysterious, so annonymous, so unknown, I'm like the night, I'm like the darkness, you see me, you know what I am, you know a little about me, but you don't really... hmm I don't know.

Sometimes I sit here, in front of the computer, very late at night, or maybe I should call it very early in the morning, just waiting, waiting for something, I don't know what, I just sit here, feeling the comfortable chair, leaning my back on it, my legs on the side of the bed, radio still on, just to admire the room, the beautiful room which I organised every piece of item so neatly, so perfectly against each other. I have been understanding that life should be enjoyed, there really is no use doing something if you don't enjoy it, unless it really has to be done, but you should throw a little fun and enjoyment, or at least feel good about/whilst doing it.

So last night, after a few hours of some gameplay, I just sat there, same pose, feeling the world around me, the 4 walls around me, actually it's more like 5 walls. Sometimes we just live our life without being so conscious about the world around us, we take it all for granted. I like to feel the air, feel the wind, feel the warm sunshine, admire the beauty, breathe in the fresh air, feel every sensation of life in and around me.

I don't know, I've never written a blog before, never something of this length, I'm going on and on, I am beginning to like this, this is great, it's fun, it's relieving. I feel like some weights have been lifted off me, and I like that. From tonight on, I will continue blogging :)

Good night everyone.

( Oh yeah, it's 1:39 am now)