Thinking about myself.

Being an introvert means that I have to think about what I have to say before I say it or write it down. This means it makes me feel as though I'm not as good as someone else because I can't let it all out fluently and express myself in a way that people feel and I feel that I should.

Being a minority in society, im talking about being having an introverted personality, it is hard to not feel inferior and depressed. I know a lot of people must be going through the same thing as me, the world doesn't revolve around me so therefore my problems might be so insignificant when compared to someone elses that it magically goes away. You know.

Living my whole life under the influence of extroverted people, the torment of believing in strong beliefs of other people's way of life makes me feel as though I cannot live up to that and I'm a failure. I know that it is all because of the way I have been brought up to believe, but it's hard to wash it off. I mean, it's like I have been repeatively bathed in a pool of colour dye and now I have turned blue, it's hard to wash it off. It takes a lot of scrubbing, a lot of work. Sometimes you sit there frustrated and depressed because you are still blue.

How can I live my introverted life and still be happy?. Being an introvert means you spend a lot of alone time, and in that alone time a lot of pondering. Introverts have very little friends because they don't like to share themselves with other people, they live their life inside their own world. Introversion is a normal personality, but it is a different type of normal. It's like way out there in the universe, there is another planet just like earth, the people are different, but to them it is normal, and earthlings are freaks.

Although I love alone time very much, sometimes I feel so lonely. Oh, it really hurts sometimes. I can almost feel the tears inside the vessels of my eyelids, I hold them back. Being an introvert has limited me to very little friends. We find friends who are trustworthy, who can understand, who doesn't judge us, who is somewhat has an introvert side themselves and has something in common with. Now that is being quite specific and narrows the people who we meet down to about 1 or 2. I have friends who I talk to a lot at uni, but I never share myself out to them enough. I mean, I've never really called them over to my house or to hang out. Except for this one friend, I think he's definitley an introvert himself, but still, we don't hang out much, I mean, almost rarely. Uh, I feel so hurt about my situation, I hope someone who is out there feels the same or has felt the same and will remember me.

Anyway I want to go back to thinking about other things, or perhaps trying to feel a little better.